SHE ARRIVES! That one hamster you have never met!
by OnigiriBob
Summary: I'll just say that someone unexpected arrives at the clubhouse and makes things crazy! In a bad way! Couples are crushed like puny flowers, but like puny flowers they don't die but get back up! I think! T for CRAZYNESS I guess. It's pretty ok.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1! she arrives!!

A typical day at the clubhouse! Looking around you see various games being played like the popular blind-man's bluff,  
the intellectual, intense, chess game; naps being taken, pictures being drawn, and the like. Today, everyone is here,  
everyone is healthy, and everyone is happy! Well, almost everyone...

"ARE YOU TRYING TO CHEAT MEEE!??!!", screamed Arua as she threw the chess board in the air. "I don't get any of this!! Stop pulling rules out your butt in the middle of the game!! I'm a beginner, where's the dignity in pulling the wool over my eyes?! You ought to be ashamed!! I'm hurt! I thought we were friends! ...C'mon, now, help me pick up this mess..."  
Maxwell looked up, figuring she was done ranting. "I didn't pull any rules out my butt, I completely explained castling before we even started playing! Have you even been paying attention to me?!", he demanded, stooping down to pick up a bishop and look her in the eyes. "No," Arua pouted, "it's just so BORING to listen to all the rules! Why can't we just play,  
and you can walk me through it and tell me what not to do and what to do and-" "No no NO, if we do it like that you won't learn anything! Like walking someone through a Zelda game, showing them what to do, they'll never learn if you tell them everything before they try! Besides, why'd you even ask me to show you how to play chess if you think it's boring?"  
"...No reason," Arua mumbled, and she really DID have no reason.

"Maybe you just want to spend time with him without being conspicuous.....zuu zu..." Coughed Snoozer, forgetting he was supposed to be 'sleep-talking', from across the room.

"Hey, Penelope, what do you think of my picture?" Asked Pashmina as she held her paper up for inspection. Penelope stared for a second before busting out laughing and saying 'ookyoo okyoo' over and over, to which Pashmina replied "Oh come off it,  
I've drawn TONS of others, some of Howdy or Dexter, some of you, some of fruits, some of seeds, some of my scarf, what does ONE picture of Stan hurt? No! NO! Stop it!!!!!" Pashmina blushed as Penelope jumped around the room, yelling in her own weird language that 'Pashmina loves Staa-aaan!!!' She was only doing it because she knew no one could understand her,  
and it wouldn't REALLY hurt Pashmina or make her REALLY angry. Meanwhile Stan was across the room watching Bijou, waiting for a chance to flirt,  
totally oblivious to the commotion.

"Crushes are a normal, healthy part of life that can't, and shouldn't be avoided............um, zuuuuuuu zu zu zu zu."  
Snoozer said, again forgetting the premise of his character.

"Zey are being all too noisy over there, are zey not, Hamtaro?" Asked Bijou as the final round of blind-man's bluff was finished, plopping down on the sofa beside Hamtaro and looking at him earnestly. "I can barely ear myzelf zink!!"  
"Oh?" Hamtaro turned to her. "Sorry, Bijou, I didn't notice you were there. Did you say something? Penelope is being kind of distracting, and Arua was just throwing some kind of sore-loser fit. Gosh, it's just too loud in here! I can't even hear myself think, ya know?" "......Um, you took zee words right out of my mouth, Hamtaro! I was zinking zee same zing." "What?" "I said 'I was zinking zee same zing!'" "Huh?! Hey, I can't hear you?" "OOKYOO OOOKYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSUKBGRDIJKBSDJKGMNFV!!!!"  
"I ZAID I WAS ZINGING ZEE ZAME ZING!! ZCREAAAAAM!!!!" "HUH?? ZINKA ZEE SCREAMA ZCREE?! Bijou, ARE YOU OK?!"  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" "HEY GUYS I THINK BIJOU'S HAVING A FIT!" "GET BACK HERE PENELOPE, WE'RE GOING HOME AND I'M GONNA SEE THAT YOU GET A GOOD, SOUND, SPANKING FROM YOUR MOMMA BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING MEAN TO ME AND I DO NOT NOT not LOVE STAN!!" "IZAIDIWASZINKINGZEZAMEZIIIIIIIIIIIING!!"

Total silence, except for Snoozer's, "I THINK WE SHOULD- zu zu zuuuu..." Pashmina stormed out, dragging Penelope, saying she would be back in a few minutes.  
Stan jumped down from the balcony saying, "She doesn't love me, eh?", with a look in his eye that said 'Bijou? Who's Bijou?'

"RIGHT! She DOESN'T love you!", screamed Howdy, while Dexter yelled, "You got that one right, that's for sure!"  
"Well why don't we let her cool off, wait for her to come back, and then ask her about who she loves? ..I'll bet you a walnut it's none of those bozos."  
Said Arua, turning to Bijou, who tried not to giggle (because that wasn't exactly nice :o.)

Suddenly the door swung open. Stan, Dexter, and Howdy turned to the door expectantly, while everyone else turned to look casually. Except Snoozer who didn't look at all (he was asleep.)

Bijou's white face instantly paled .  
"It's you...oh, no, not you......"

END CHAPTER 1

If you like it you should say so or else I probably won't continue this. :O 


	2. Chapter 2

==INTERMISSION==

How stupid of me! I forgot to explain who Arua is! She's my fan-hamster. I know, TOTAL lameness to write a fanfic including your fan-hamster, I mean, pssh, who cares about other people's fan-hamsters right? Oh well. I like her so I put her in. I _know_ that Sandy and Maxwell are a couple and I totally love them in the series, like super-cute right!? Well I matched Arua up with Maxwell a long time ago, so please don't go all 'UYHJBKOIHYGJBKLNJHVJGHBKNLJ!!??!?!?!!' on me for advocating it in THIS story. Not all of my stories will advocate it, I promise you! And this one isn't even focused on it, it's mostly focused on Hamtaro and Bijou! But really and truly it has no focus!

SO I'll show you what arua looks like.

.

She doesn't have like a specific entrance or past or anything, she's just your everyday hamham! She is witty but not knowledgable, outspoken but not radical! You'll get to know her better as my stories go on! ;)

==END INTERMISSION==

Last time...

"Suddenly the door swung open. Stan, Dexter, and Howdy turned to the door expectantly, while everyone else turned to look casually. Except Snoozer who didn't look at all (he was asleep.)

Bijou's white face instantly paled .

'It's you...oh, no, not you......'"

"Oh, YES, YES it's me!!" Sang out a white hamster, slightly shorter than Bijou, who was wearing a bright red ribbon on top of her head and carrying a hot pink backpack. "I've come to see how you're faring out here in the boonies, li'l sis! I see you have no shortage of men here, anyway," she commented, winking into the crowd of ham-hams. "Oh! But I forget my manners, I'm Jewel, Bijou's older sister! I'm a world traveller, and I'm always thinking and worrying about my li'l sis so I decided I'd stop by and check up on her! How long'm I staying? That depends on how many things there are here to keep me interested," she suggested, slyly looking over at Stan, who now had a look that said 'who CARES who Pashmina loves!!'

"But how did you know to come to the clubhouse? How did you even know to come to this area of the world?? And why don't you have a French accent as well?", mused Maxwell.

Jewel turned to him, saying, "HaHA, haven't you ever heard of MAIL, my good sir? She wrote to me when she moved, and told me where she moved to! Of course I went straight to her address when I cam to see her, and of course I was surprised to find that she wasn't home (especially considering how much of a prissy baby she always was), but following her trail here was no sweat - no sweat at all!! I _am_ a world traveller expertise you know. I know all about tracking! ...And I was adopted by an American family living in France early on so my accent is extremely faint." At this point, everyone was looking impressed, except Bijou who looked nauseous.

--

"Bijou, what's the deal with you and your sister? Everyone seems to like her but you!", asked Arua, later that day while Jewel was telling everyone about her marvellous travels and Bijou was pouting in the corner. "If I didn't know any better...I'd say you were JEALOUS!"

"Of course I am not!", shrieked Bijou defensively. "I am not jealous of 'er! She eez just zuch a zhowoff and eet ees zo ANNOYING to 'ave 'er flirting and winking at every boy in zight!" Arua rolled her eyes, "Awww phoo, she is definitely not. She's just being elaborate, that's all! You should lighten up, you're the only one thinking like this!"

"Hey guys...", drooped Pashmina as she plopped down beside Bijou. "What's going on over here?"

"I am just trying to convince Arua of my seesters evil ways.", replied a gloomy Bijou.

"Oh, like totally!!" Piped up Sandy, who had just walked up. "She's like, all over Stan and it's really annoying me! That chick is, like, just so super skanky!! I mean, like no offense Bijou, but it's true! I don't want anyone like that dating MY brother, no way!"

"Oh, I KNOW! I mean, it's not always fun having Howdy and Dexter hang all around me, but for some reason it's annoying to see them dripping over her! I don't even like them, you know? That's why I came over here, I probably would've started flirting for THEIR attention if I wouldv'e stayed over there!", exclaimed Pashmina.

"I still think you guys are overeacting. They're just interested in her tales of the world! In fact, I think I'm gonna go over there and listen in as well since Bijou has some moping buddies now." And with that, Arua was off.

--

"AND THEN, I was alone. The gator who had gobbled my Indian guide was in the river which I followed, almost invisible but for two giant eyes sticking out of the water. I knew that if I didn't find shelter for the night, he'd get me, too. In my sleep. I would've climbed a tree, but there were ferocious giant cats in them that could get me if I slept there. It was a lose-lose situation, and it wasn't until sunset that I realised what needed to be done-"

"Um, pardon the interruption, but did you say gators? Ferocious giant cats? In Brazil? Are you sure you have all your facts straigh because I've never read of-"

"Are you questioning my knowledge?! Look Maxwell, lemme lay it out for you. Paleosuchus trigonatus is a species of alligator, and it only lives in South America. Panthera Onca AKA jaguar is a giant cat, also indiginous to Latin and South America. If you don't believe me, you may want to re-read your encyclopedia. I promise you it's in there. Anyway...", and Jewel continued her story. Maxwell's face was crimson and he stared at Jewel. "So...knowledgable. Wow, what a woman! I sure would like to get to know her better, she has so much to teach me!", he thought, and silently resolved to listen intently to her every word after that. It was written all over his face, his feelings for her.

Arua turned to the girls across the room. "Now it's personal." She mouthed to them, popping her knuckles and setting her brow. "That little ho is going down!!"

(But what did she even do?? :O)

TO BE CONTINUED ATVHJFUIJKNDSB!!!

Boys smitten so far: Howdy, Dexter, Stan, Maxwell


	3. Chapter 3

==INTERMISSION==

WHAAT THE CRAP!?!?!

I LOOKED AT THAT STORY CALLED 'BOY STEALER' THAT SOMEONE SAID MY FIC IS SIMILAR TO AND THE TRAMP'S NAME IS ARUA!!!!

I stopped reading it. Don't worry, they aren't related. Neither the story nor the hamsters.

And Jewel is not a perfect character, nor does she claim to be. She's just well-versed in what she does, and it inspires admiration in the hearts of most men! (haha)

==END INTERMISSION==

Last time...

"Arua turned to the girls across the room. 'Now it's personal.' She mouthed to them, popping her knuckles and setting her brow. 'That little ho is going down!!'"

"Personal? Like, what's so personal about it?" Giggled Sandy as Arua stomped towards them. "You like, don't even have a boyfriend, and I totally can't see you crushing on anyone...?"

The other girls crowded on Arua at the mere mention of some crushing gossip, with, "Ohh oooh, tell me!", "Ooh lala! Arua is in love?!", and "Like, now you HAVE to tell us!"

"Err, I don't know why it's personal, I guess 'cause she's just so annoying!! I didn't really look at her up close before, she looks like a little punk and I don't like it! It's personal because I don't like punks or skanks and she is a little of both and I can't have it in my clubhouse!!!!!!!!!!"

...........................

The four girls turned to look at the silent group across the room that was staring at them. Well, mostly staring at Arua.

"YOUR clubhouse?", questioned Boss. "Why you ungrateful-" "DON'T EVEN GET STARTED WITH ME YOU BIG FATTY!! I can call it my clubhouse whenever I want, it's not like that really makes it mine so what difference does it make?!" "WHY I OUGHTTA-" "HaHA, catch me if you can you big jerk!", screamed Arua, who was secretly thinking, "I'm so super lucky that I happened to start yelling right at the end of that sentance...I wonder what else they heard me say..."

"GET BACK HERE!!", Boss yelled. "I'M GONNA TEACH YOU A LESSON ABOUT RESPECT!!"

"I don't need one!", sang back Arua. "Especially not one from you!!"

"Grrr...I'M GONNA huff huff........HEY, YOU, ........huff, huff.....A-"

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSHSHSHSHHSH!!!

Everyone hurried over to aid Boss, including Arua. Jewel pushed her way into the center of the crowd, to examine Boss, who had passed out from over-exertion and had fallen on top of a fancy coffee table made completely out of balsa wood!

"Um, Jewel, are you like a doctor too or something?", panted Oxnard. "I mean, do you know what to do for him? I think, uh, that is, if you don't mind...uh-"

"Yeah, Oxy's right!", Hamtaro realised. "We need Maxwell, or a specialist or something!" Everyone agreed, and before Jewel could protest and explain her experience, Boss's eyes fluttered open and rested on her. "........Mama?", he cooed. "Mama!" He held out his arms. "Mama! Mama!" He started bouncing and squirming.

"Errrrr..." Jewel blushed as she turned to the ham-hams, "he thinks I'm his...mother. I have no idea how to explain this..." "MAMA!!! PICK! ME! UP!!!!", screamed Boss.

"Ok, ok!! Hunnrgggrrrrrr......", replied Jewel, struggling to pick up the tub-meister. For the whole rest of the day he insisted on being carried by her.

--

"Well, I really love hearing all your daring tales of adventure, Jewel, but Laura's gonna be home in a few minutes, so I gotta get going!", exclaimed Hamtaro. "You're gonna be here tomorrow, too, right?", he asked. "Oh, yeah, I probably will. Adventure is nice, but taking a break is nice too, you know? I'll probably leave after tomorrow. Will all of you will be here tomorrow, too?" She asked, looking around at the ham-hams. "We sure will!"

----

"Ok, let the secret meeting commence!"

"Here's the plan.....whisper...whisper..."

"I don't know about this...it's not right! She doesn't deserve this!"

"Oh come on, it's not gonna HURT her! It's just for kicks!"

"I don't think it would be right, either, she IS your sister, I mean, you probably shouldn't-"

"She won't like it! She'll hate you...she'll hate us all!"

"Oh c'mon you babies, just accept the plan! You KNOW you want to, don't you??"

"...Yes." "Yeah, I guess so...well, yeah. I do."

"IT'S SETTLED!"

----

Bijou walked to the clubhouse that morning with Jewel. There was an awkward silence between them, and she didn't like it. It was fishy...and she didn't want to be found out!! So she started making small talk. "So, 'ave you met any special boys at ze clubhouse? Anyone you particularly...fancy?"

"HAHA! Sis, always thinking about the men, eh? You haven't changed a bit. No, you know me, I don't get too attached, I mean, I'm leaving today you know.."

Bijou gulped. How could she harbor such hostile feelings to her own sister, who was clearly not trying to steal any boys from anyone!

"R-right...well, 'ere we are!", Bijou exclaimed, relieved that she didn't have to talk about this anymore.

"Hey, Jewel's heere!!", yelled Hamtaro. "Yeah! Jewel's here to play! Oh, hi Bijou! Isn't today a beautiful day?", he asked, smiling.

Bijou's jaw dropped. "Eerr, it sure is 'Amtaro...", she replied, blushing like mad. "I'm gonna...I'm gonna go check up on Cappy and Panda.." She excused herself and ran over to the two neglected hamsters, fighting back tears. "Dexter and 'Owdy smitten...I can take zat. Maxwell? Stan? Who cares! But 'Amtaro...what's even worse is the fact zat 'e acted so clueless before!! Waaaaah..."

When she met up with Cappy and Panda, she was surprised to find that they hadn't even met Jewel. "Huh? Jewel? Is she nice? Hey, c'mon Cappy, let's go meet her!"

"Oh! You may not want to do zat, Panda, she is very...um, very...nevermind." Bijou watched sulkily as the two underdeveloped hamsters waddled their way to Jewel's side, becoming instantly dazzled by her knowledge and prowess! "Why did I even bother..." she wondered.

--

"ARE YOU, LIKE, READY TO GET YOUR HUNKS BACK GIRLS??"

"YEAH! YEAH! WE'RE READY!!"

Bijou quickly turned to see the other three girls and Penelope (who was limping) cheering and getting pumped up to 'get their hunks back'. She remembered the plan they had come up with the night before and ran over to them and joined in on the hootenanny. "Ok, so I brought all of June's makeup I could carry!" "I brought all my sexy pick-up lines!" "Um, Arua, like, pick-up lines are totally lame, and like, strictly for weirdo guys, you know right?" "Oh, uh, yeah, but these are sexy pickup lines for classy women. Don't think about it too much." "Let's get zis started, girls!! SUPER MAKEOVER TO OUTSHINE THE STARS (AND JEWELS) EXTRA HYPER PLAN GOOO!!"

"OOOKYOOOOOOOO!!!!"

They all ran to the nearest room and slammed the door shut, leaving Penelope outside because she was just a child. Various noises and cries of pain came from that room but no one noticed it because Jewel was telling a story.

After about an hour, the door reopened and the four girls filed out looking like total BABES! I can't even describe the sexyness that was going ON here! Anyway, their efforts did not go unrewarded...

"Woooah, like, Jewel, you're one radical babe but I see a little lady over here that needs some attentions...". gasped Stan when he noticed Pashmina talking and laughing across the room. "Totally sorry but I'll catch you later..." "HEY, WHERE ARE YOU-" But before she could say another word he was across the room, kissing Pashmina's hand and moving on up her arm, only to be smushed into the ground by Dexter and Howdy who did a cannonball off the balcony on top of him. The three of them turned into a giant fighting cloud of dust that was avoided by all.

Similarly, when Boss noticed Bijou he snapped out of his baby-bird stupor. "PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT YOU PERVERT!!", he yelled at Jewel. "BIJOU! I'M COMING BIJOU!", he screamed as he zoomed across the room, only to get caught into the fight over Pashmina.

"What's going on in here?" Asked Maxwell, poking his head into the clubhouse. "I can hear you guys all the way from the inside of the tunne- ACK!" His heart skipped a beat as the hotness eminating from the girl ham-hams smacked him like a brick to the face! But he was a determined scholar and stayed by Jewel's side to hear all her stories anyway (although all he could think about were the beautiful girls c;).

Through all this total chaos, Hamtaro stayed by Jewel's side, smiling and laughing at her stories and jokes. Bijou felt stupid. Her plan was supposed to outshine Jewel, and win Hamtaro back, but instead it had just created a giant fight, and a distracted Maxwell. The makeup she was wearing was itchy, and pretty soon it started to run with her tears. Crying softly at first, she stepped out into the middle of the room, tilted her head back and let it all out!

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!"

END CHAPTER 3


	4. Chapter 4

Well, I'm sorry this was so lame. It wasn't very long, but you know, I was always particularly attracted to short stories over novels and chapter books and whatnot.

Anyway, I'm glad I finally came back to seal it up. Chances are I'll put up more annoying stories before too long.

Last time...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!" Bijou screamed, makeup running down her face. As soon as Hamtaro heard her crying, his face shot up and he ran to console her. Bijou pushed him away and cried even harder. Hamtaro sat by her, silent for a few moments, then...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!" Hamtaro started crying equally as intensely as Bijou was!! Bijou was so shocked that she stopped crying, and Hamtaro cried for a good 15 seconds. After that, he wiped his eyes and nose and said, "Bijou...I didn't know all this would make you cry. I never would've...well, I never would've gone along with the plan if I would have known. I'm really sorry." Bijou stared at him. "Plan?"

Hamtaro's eyes bulged. "Uh, what? You didn't know...um, no, I didn't say plan, I said...uh...ham?"

"I 'eard you. You said 'plan'."

Hamtaro gulped. "Well, see, Jewel got all some of us guys together and we talked, and...we all agreed to only pay attention to her for her last day, and uh..." Bijou stopped listening. She slowly turned around to face Jewel, who smiled nervously at her and waved. Before Jewel could even blink Bijou had pounced on her and was about to rip her ribbon and all fur attatched to it right off the top of her head, when Jewel started crying too!! Ok, so maybe she wasn't crying like Bijou or Hamtaro did, but she had tears running down her face. "Bijou...I'm so incredibly...jealous. Of you. There's a reason I travel the world: if I didn't, no one would like me. It's the entire premise of my character. Please, try to understand. I only did this because I wanted you to be jealous of me for once. I wanted to impress you in some cosmic way..." Bijou ripped her fur out anyway.

I'M KIDDING!! Haha, no, Bijou just started crying again. Then she hugged her sister, and Hamtaro ran over and hugged both of them. Then Bijou pushed him away because he was still a stupid boy.

----

Jewel left not long after that, and the clubhouse was restored to it's regular peace. Dexter, Howdy, and Stan were apologizing profusely to Pashmina and Sandy, who were not hearing a word of it. Bijou and Hamtaro were sitting on the couch people-watching, as they were apt to do. Bijou couldn't exactly stay mad at him for long.

Maxwell was studying his encyclopedia while Arua was trying to talk to him.

"Were you part of that?" She asked. "Part of what?" "The plan to ignore everyone but Jewel!" "Uhh, no. She's like, a super-scholar. I was earnestly attentive for purely scientific reasons. I hope to be as accomplished as that one day..."

"Psh, yeah right. You weren't very earnestly attentive when us womenfolk were all fancied up now were you?"

"Er, of course I was. Don't overestimate any womenly charms you might posess, Arua." He replied while reading, without even looking at Arua.

Arua's face reddened."What?! Shut UP Maxwell, you KNOW I'm like 100% hot babe, except when I'm hanging out with YOU you big nerd! I swear, I try to be your friend and all you do is insult me and cheat me at chess...which by the way I'm NEVER trying to play again! You're a freak." Arua walked off and then looked back at Maxwell, who suddenly yelled in fury.

"PALEOSUCHUS TRIGONATUS, MY HEINIE!!" He turned feverishly toward Arua. "THAT LITTLE SKANK TRICKED ME!"


End file.
